This week is my first week to go back to work and to work full days. It has been harder than I thought it was going to be. I have been tired when I get home in the evening and have been falling asleep on the couch right after supper each evening. I keep thinking, “Shouldn’t I be getting better faster?” The week before I felt so strong and now it seems like I have taken a step backwards!
I have not been sleeping as well as the night, the muscles in my upper back ache and have been very stiff and when I wake up in the morning, they almost feel like knots. The feeling has even extended all the way over to my ribs. Generally once I get up and move around I begin to loosen up. I have even had some nerve pain in my foot the last couple of days. I guess it comes from sitting in a chair for 8 – 9 hours at a time and reaching for pens and paper. I really need to be sure to get up and move around every so often and be extra careful about leaning and reaching for things. The doctor said these aches and pains are normal as the upper muscles in my back are having spasms as they try to compensate for the smaller ones which have been cut and for the pain and soreness in the lower back. The occasional nerve pain is normal too and can be expected from time to time in the next couple of months.
All in all the doctor says that I am progressing very well and recovering faster than most. For that I am thankful. I know that recovering from a major surgery takes some time – but knowing something and living through it are two different things! I know that we do not always heal at the same rate and that I will need to continue to place my trust in the Lord during the various ups and downs of my recovery. I am reminded of a passage in Mark chapter 8 when Jesus healed a blind man and unlike other people Jesus touched, this man did not immediately regain his sight. The bible says in Mark 8:23 that Jesus took this blind man by the hand, brought him out of his village and then Jesus applied spit upon this man’s eyes and touched him and asked him, “Do you see anything?” The man replied that he saw men, but they were not yet clear for they “…seemed like trees, walking around”. The Lord had to lay His hands upon this man again and ultimately the man’s vision was restored.
Just as the Lord worked differently in this man’s life and healing than He worked healing of other blind men, I know that the Lord works differently in each and every one of our lives. We heal, we grow, we mature at different paces. The key is this, are we willing to let Jesus take us by the hand and lead us from where we are to where we need to be? Are we willing to let Him deal with us in His time frame? If we are, then there is no doubt, that we will be blessed. There is no doubt we will end up where we need to be.
I know that the Lord will take care of me. I know that how well my recovery goes will depend on how well I follow my doctor’s instructions and I know that how fast I heal is not entirely in my hands. And that’s okay, for I trust the Lord and His timing, I simply need to continue to hold His hand. Be blessed and have a wonderful Good Friday.
If you would like to know more about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you can send me an email directly at email@example.com